The Interview

I have an interview at Page Six Magazine tomorrow. Now, normally I would be hyperventalating about the lack of prep time. I usually like to do a lot of googling before an interview, I check out web pages, I look for pictures of the building, I search for my interviewers name... stalkercity, and I'm not ashamed. But being they contacted me this afternoon and my interview is tomorrow, I'm going in blind.

Being I've been on my fair share of interviews in the last few months, I've come to realize every interview boils down to the same redundant question, asked over and over again in different ways using different tones. This question is "How much easier can you make my job?" But instead of saving everyone's time, interviewers go through every possible variety of this standard question just.

First we have theCan you make us feel important? question. It usually comes in the form of "Why do you want to work for us?" Here, they want you to talk the company up. They know just as well as you that you probably have six interviews lined up, but they want to feel like the number one choice. Its all about ego so talk about how well known they are, and how accomplished the company is, how good it will look on your resume and what they can teach you because they are just that fantastic. This has never been more true than at my interview with Conde Nast. Their head is so big they could star in the Macy's parade (can you tell that I'm still bitter?).

Next comes "What do you see yourself doing as a (insert desired position)"? I see this question being pointless because you told me exactly what I'd be doing in your help wanted ad, but again they want to know what can do to make their life easier. Humor your interviewer and repeat verbatem what they told you you'd be doing. And then add in how excited you are to be doing this.

Then theres the follow up to this question- "Are you capable of doing everything you just told us?" The answer is always yes. No matter what, you say yes. If you feel uncomfortable with lying through your teeth you can add in you don't have any experience doing said task but that you are a fast learner and feel confident you can make their life easier if you are hired. And say it with a smile.

There's usually a "why did you leave your last job?" thrown in there somewhere. Again its a chance to stroke their ego. Go all out telling them theres a much better opportunity to learn and grow with the company you are interviewing for.

And they always, always, always ask if you have any questions. Pull something out of your ass and ask a question. It doesn't matter what it is. They like to feel important and useful.

I have to admit, some people get creative with an odd question every once in a while. Once it was what's your life motto. Another time they asked about my astrological sign. And this one time my hand writing was analyzed (Those last two were at the same job). Basically just spew believable non-sense and charm their pants off and you should be fine.

Wish me luck!