Death(bunk)bed

I'm sick. Like deathly, in bed, yellow snot, sick. I've been known to be a tad of a hypochondriac, but I really think I have a kidney infection mixed with Ebola. That's the oozy African monkey virus right?

When you live with three other roommates in a gross, dark, dirty, basement apartment, you get sick alot. Vitamins stop working, Lysol is a joke and surgical masks are hard to come by. Nothing really stands up to hygienically challenged college kids. So whatever disease that permanently festers in our couch has now invaded my sinuses and oral cavity. I sound like a chain smoker, the menthol kind. If I didn't drop my thermometer in the toilet last time I was sick, I would tell you I have a temperature, but without it I just can't be sure.

I'm supposed to be working on a twenty page paper that counts as a final for two of my classes, but instead I've been using Web MD to figure out what I've contracted. So far its just a tumor... but I'm not ruling out Ebola. I tried to make an outline for this paper, thinking I could get the ball rolling and just bang it out. But all I came up with was the heading, "Stupid Fucking Essay Outline" times new roman, centered, bold, (I'm nothing if not a sucker for formatting) followed by my thesis which says "I should have read these books"...Its a work in progress.

When I'm not sabotaging my GPA, I've been wasting time with Kenny vs Spenny episodes on YouTube. Right now I'm waiting for "The First One to Touch the Ground Loses" to load. If you don't know what Kenny vs Spenny is, google away my friend. It may just be the best thing to come out of Canadian television. Basically these two childhood friends, Kenny Hotz and Spencer Rice, compete in weekly challenges and humiliate the loser. Sounds simple but it really is pure genius. If anyone can cure me it will be Kenny Hotz... or Jesus... or a vat of broccoli cheddar soup. I'm going back to bed until one of the three is brought to me.